It has finally come! No, not Christmas, but SUMMER!

It's amazing to see how thoroughly I am enjoying it, too. Never have I looked foward to the end of school as of now.

This year, I realized that the work in school is quite TIRING. It seems I went a bit overboard with the procrastingatin-and-sleeping-late issue that sweeps the nation's youth at an alarming rate. My own brother who is two years younger has a a tendency to sleep later than me.

I have always liked school. I will not deny that fact. It's a sanctified place of learning, and I take every opportunity to pay attention in class, promptly complete homework, and learn dilligently from our wiser counterparts, the teachers. But the late night essays have taken their toll, and I hope to use this time to recuperate from my otherwise hectic and exhausting schedule.

Looking back, I would say last year to be a strange one. Well, the curriculum had not changed necessarily, but the people and especially teachers I have come in contact with have been a unqiue experience. People come and go, yet they leave a lasting and most likely extremely important impacts in your life that will continue to affect you throughout your lifetime. I came to view teachers not only as necessary guides in an intellectual world, but also as somewhat friends and people you could feely talk to. No longer are they the lofty adult in a different world. They can actually connect with what you say and give proper encouragement or advice.

Students and faculty alike have taken their leave of the school. It's strange to think they won't be there anymore. I almost half-expect too see them chattering amongst friends or causing chaos in class. Modern technology has aided us with the availability of communication, but keeping in touch is not as easy as it seems. It cannot replace face-to-face conversations. How else are we to know if a "haha" is with annoyance or real laughter?

What does the future hold for me? That's the question that this entire post comes down to. In the end, you just have to take it as it comes. You can prepare for it, but the future is practically now (somehow), and it will take courage to face it and willingness to accept it.

5:04 AM

Sweet, tender loving care in the midst of that who saves
His ways are endless, his motives pure, the everlasting king of days
The beginning of eternity, the ending of infinite times
Though expressed as perfect in all he does, described not by words nor rhyme

The greatest of all leaders here, a stronger father that is who be
Gentler than any mother who would stand in aid by me
The greatest of dreams, the wishes of stars, more real that i could know
Through him be my guide and my shield, where i fear neither death nor foe

He who shakes the very things that i have believed or felt before
He who shatters graven images, falseness, and sinful core
Who born beneath the very star that witnessed evil deeds
Through death and pain, than triumphant rise can we then be redeemed

With love that we cannot truly comprehend with which he gave his life
Who came and died for us and all, that the wrongs may transform to right
To each he asks only wholesome faith than deeds or things we do
And finish the task he has set before till the end of the race be through

When thus we reach the heavenly gates of God who brought us there
For those that have not accepted and believed what we know to be true, beware
May each of your names be written in the hallowed pages of the book of Life
And find yourself engulfed, fulfilled in God's prescence and holy light

10:39 PM

It has been said that the weather can be a major contribution to one's attitude and behavior. For instance many people for some odd reason seem to acquire a strange depression in those dark, stormy days. Other times, the sunshine can brighten a spirit more than any words nor action. Of course, it works both ways. I guess it just depends on what you prefer. Here, at the moment, the weather is doing some crazy things. A few moments ago, it was quite windy with a slight drizzle. Now, all of a sudden, it has stopped, and the rain is gone. This alternates over and over. The sight makes it interesting. At least the breeze feels rather good.

8:18 PM

Today, I attended a leadership seminar that lasted from approximately from 9 AM to 5 Pm (it was actually supposed to end at 4:30 or so). Mr. Akin, Eric (not Martin), Marcus, Hope, Bethany, and I were there. My experience was actually quite enjoyable.

I had to wake up quite early for a holiday in order to get to the Akin's house by 8:30. There, I was greeted with a "Go away" from Marcus (haha very funny). Anyhow, Bethany came soon after so off we went!

First, we went through some worship which I must admit was quite long and therefore tiring. It was still quite enjoyable. We played the get-as-many-signs-for-the-following-things game (which wasn't what it was really called, by the way). I attempted this half-heartedly and was able to get merely a couple signatures from the people around me.

Afterwards, we went into our first Habitutde (habit+attitude) which had to do with an iceberg. Basically, the tip represented the 10% that people see, which are such things as skills and abilities. The 90% percent below was what people didn't see: our character. This was what either "sinks the ship or supports the tip". Somtimes, our talents take us where our character cannot sustain us. Therefore, we mus be firmly grounded in who we are. Character is made up of four basic components: self discipline (ability to do what is right even when you don't feel like it), core values (principles you live by that enable you to take a moral stand), sense of identity (a healthy, realistic self-image based on who God made you to be), and emotional security (your emotional health that enables you to be stable and consistent).

The second Habitude was "The Starving Baker". Leaders often find themselves so busy supporting others, they forget to feed themselves. There needs to be room for personal growth before leading others. I found myself able to relate to this easily.

The last aspect was "Opportunity Statue". It had hair on the front of its head, but was completely bald in the back. Opportunity can be grabbed from the front, but once it is past, you can't. The difference between leaders and followers is this: leaders invest their time while followers waste it. The ones who prepare for that opportunity will be able to make the most of themselves through it. At this point, we were shown how KISS came into contact with the Gospel through the speaker, Tim Elmore. It was quite inspirational.

Before leading others, you must first lead yourself. That was what this seminar was about. It gave the self-awareness for your influence and how you could better utilize it. Hopefully, what I have learned from this experience will help me in my life later on. I am not so sure about being a leader, but I realize that whatever I do, I have influence on others. I would rather use it for good rather than let it be left alone. What would you do?

5:04 AM

Yet, it surely does not seem quite like it, does it? Maybe the habitual behaviors are continually acting up. Perhaps it's because I still have a nagging headaches. There's also the possibility that this phenomenon is due to the undeniable fact that summer is the ONLY season in Singapore. Of course, these are all merely theories.

A lot has changed in these past few months. One thing could be my renewed interest in blogging once more after perhaps the half-year gap. Others include the many different aspects of myself : my personality, my activities, and my life. Of course, as we all know, change is inevitable, except with vending machines.

Personally, I believe that I've grown in a both positive and negative aspect. You may be pointing a finger and shouting. "That's a contradiction!" Other than being totally rude, you are also incorrect. Let me clarify my standings.

For one thing, I believe my social standings have taken a period of growth. Not only do I hang out with a variety of peeople, but it has also gotten to a point where my parents become constantly disturbed with my phone receiving sms's. Perhaps I should put it on silent. Well, not that I don't enjoy the constant conversation-starters such as "i want 2 go 2 school". I enjoy being with people more and find myself hanging out randomly at Vivo *cough*Starbucks*cough*. Then again, I still have trouble with keeping up with the endless nicknames. The unfortuante thing would be this: I have aquired an air of spontaeousness as well as an exhaustion that will cost me many hours of much-needed sleep. I find myself starting to dislike strutured schedules seeing as of how they always become disrupted in some way. Now, I look for the fun in completely random acts of silliness with my friends. The second aspect speaks for itself.

Of course, after every school year, I have increased my continually expanding knowledge. There's been subject after subject, ranging from Geometry to Geography. Not only that, but I've learned a little more about life and what it has for me. For instance, it is Guinea Bissau and not Gambia Bissau, and the distance formula is an evil formula.

I have gained different skills through this year. There are study skills, social skills, computer skills, art skills, being random/weird skills, bow-tying skills, camera skills, and most importantly, staying up late skills.

I have been able to get closer to God through this year. Through some intence analysis that were as much fun as it was revolutionizing, I gained a better understanding of the LORD. Still... I feel as though I am lacking something. At school, it is such a cliche to hear people talking about how God helped them through the year, how He was faithful, and how we should all continue to depend on Him. I am not trying to sound.... how should I put this... doubting, but I find myself wondering. I look back, and I don't find moments when I know I needed Him. Sure, I could've sent up a prayer, but I feel... inconstant. It can't really feel his presence. Then I wonder if I ever did....

I've probably spent too much of your time making you read this post, but how is one to fit so much of what has happened in the span of six months? School has ended, but my life feels like it is only beginning.

7:11 AM

I assume that many of you have experienced this trauma. On second thought, I KNOW you have all felt this way. You may not have known it, but you have felt unusually energetic. We refer to this as being "hyper". I myself happened to have this occur to me on Friday. It was quite incredible, I must admit. I had the energy to recklessly use up half of my energy in a friendly game of soccor and still have the heat to run up and down a basketball court without getting very tired. I actually screamed and cheered for my fellow teamates and open basketball players *gasp*. Even then, I was jumping up and down like a little child ready burst with the power of an atomic bomb.

I have seen other people in this particular states. For instance: Amy. She is one of the most hyperactive among our student body. Easily energized, especially with the enthusiasm encouraged usually by sweets (wow, that is an unusual number of e's), she tackles any problem with full force, sometimes somehow even more. Unfortunately, she oftentimes takes this statement literally and applies it to sports. I know, because I have both seen and felt this happening. However, that characteristic is what I believe makes Amy who she is.

Therefore, in conclusion, hyperness is not a bad thing. In fact, it can be a great motivator and source of energy in times when it is most needed. However, too much of a good thing is just that. Too mush of a good thing. Remembering this, we should enjoy this tingly sensation, but avoid any injury if possible.

5:34 AM

Pretty Awesome Rachel's Time, Yippie! That's what it PARTY stood for me. And I have to say, it was totally awesome. It might have been if the guys came too. I don't know. Maybe it'll be different next year. Anyhow, today was one of the best times of my life. Want to know why? Because people actually came to my party. My last attempt at having a public party ended up in disaster. Ignorant as I was, I invited my friends over on a holiday. I was under the impression that people were coming. Come the day, no one came. Not one. Zip. Notta. Of course, this time was different. I was really really happy. Everyone had fun with DDR and swimming. I got to say that a couple interesting conversations went on *cough* but altogether, it was pretty amazing. There was food, fun, and presents! YAY! I'll definitely try to have a party next year too, but this time with better meeting times. :P

5:24 AM

I just experience a hilarious moment in my life. John struggling with.... a ring. Funny, eh? Well, you might not think so now, but I have to say, IT WAS TOO FUNNY! He he, now he says it's cursed. Now he says, oh wait, it's mom's ring, never mind. He was asking me if I had any punk-lke accessories at my disposal. I replied that I did. It was a chain, with my ring on it. I was actually talking about the chain, but he thought for some reason about the ring. It was given to me by my mother, so it holds enormous sentimental value (really, I dunno how much it would be worth... probably not that much. Messing around, he asked me why I wouldn't wear it anymore. I said that it had become too small for me. Laughing, he tried it on. Then he wasn't laughing anymore. He couldn't get it off. He came to me, asking me to help him. I jokingly asked if he needed some butter. After about 5 minutes of pushing, "dying, crunching" (quote John), I finally managed to help him somewhat to get it off. For some odd reason (I guess some guys just have natural curiousities), John tried putting it on again. The whole process had to begn again. After several minutes of pain and very bad puns ("t's MY ring, Sam." "Frodo, take off the ring. I can't!" "The one ring, TO STRESS THEM ALL") we got it off... again. I probably did not do a good job of relating this story, but I found it extremely amusing nonetheless.

The lesson we learn: John, don't wear the ring :P.

5:08 AM

Today, or rather this evening, as I was briskly trotting to the bus station, I noticed a double-decked bus approaching the stop. Assuming this as rather good luck seeing as of how I was horribly late, I continued toward my present destination, eagerly awaiting the upcoming ride as I pulled out my wallet containing my ez-link. Much to my suprise, a 10 bus pulled into vew. Crestfallen, yet not hopeless, I patienly waited for the next bus. Imagine the disheartenment when I saw a 176 come around the corner, which was the other bus I couldn't ride. Out of a total possibility of 5 buses, with 3 that were ridable, the two unridable buses had come instead. Finally, a 188 came. With renewed hope, I quickly tapped my wallet onto the mechanism and stood towards the side since all the seats were filled. With each stop, more and more people entered the vehicle. This caused me to feel like a hamburger squished between two buns (metaphorically speaking). At last, my destination was near, and I hurriedly exited the bus while glancing worriedly at my watch and realizing that I was approximately 15 minutes late. As I arrived at the front gate, I discovered one deadly flaw to my plan of entereing through. It was locked. Quite locked. Unaware of how to release this... lock, I raced towards the other entrance, furtively hoping to reach the performance on time. Then, as soon as I managed to get to the school (out of breath, I might add), the song... was over. As was my hope of watching my fellow 9th graders sing with grace and harmony.

Through this experience that I now told, I realized... the world is full of irony. Cruel irony.

4:43 AM